आखिरी प्रेम पत्र

Excuse me if this is overly kiddish, when I wrote this, was just 15 years old.

To Neha once again, from an old notebook, a letter which was never sent; just digitalizing it, afterall this is my last loveletter...

Finally one post in my blog for myself.

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Please पढने से पहले फाड़ना मत! हर बार मैं यही कहता हूँ की ये मेरी आखिरी चिट्ठी है लेकिन क्या करूँ, कंट्रोल ही नहीं होता. वैसे इसे तुम मेरा confession भी समझ सकती हो. बहुत कुछ ऐसा है जो मैं clarify करना चाहता था लेकिन अब तुम्हारा सामना करने की हिम्मत खो चूका हूँ. अब मुझे तुमसे कोई जवाब भी नहीं चाहिए. बस मेरी situation को समझने की कोशिश करना. 

तुम मुझे भले ही सड़क छाप रोड रोमिओ समझो लेकिन  अगर मेरा यकीन मानो तो 21  मई 1997 से पहले मैं इन सब लफड़ों से दूर ही रहता था. मैं वैसा भी नहीं हूँ जो मुश्किल से दो मिनट की बहुत ही फोर्मल बातचित  को कुछ और समझ लूँ. तुम्हारी और मेरी ऊस मुलाकात के दो दिन पहले मैंने तुममे कुछ देखा था, वो कुछ क्या था मैं न कभी समझ पाया और न ही कभी समझ पाऊंगा. अब तुम ये उम्मीद तो मत रखना कि मैं तुम्हे कभी भूल पाऊंगा. तुम मेरा पहला और आखिरी पागलपन हो... 

मैंने तुम्हारे साथ जिस तरीके से behave किया है उसके लिए मैं अपने आप को कभी नहीं माफ़ कर सकूँगा. लेकिन मेरा इरादा कभी भी बुरा नहीं था. मैं तुम्हे सिर्फ प्यार ही नहीं करता था, लगभग पूजा करता था. Angel  थी तुम मेरी, बेदाग़ और innocent. काश किसी और के through मुझे "समझाने" कि जगह तुम खुद एक आखिरी बार बात कर लेती. 

कभी कभी जब अपने बारे में सोचता हूँ तो बड़ा अजीब सा लगता है. दो साल पहले मैं क्या था और आज क्या हो गया हूँ... लेकिन मुझे सुधरने का मौका ही किसने दिया? तुम्हारी एक हाँ से मेरी ज़िन्दगी बदल जाती, वापिस लौट सकता था... अपनी सारी ज़िन्दगी को किसी की एक हाँ या ना पे छोड़ देना बहुत बड़ा दांव होता है और मैं ये हार चूका हूँ. भगवान् ना करे कि तुम्हे कभी पता चले कि ज़िन्दगी कि सबसे बड़ी बाज़ी हारने का अहसास कैसा होता है.

लगता है मेरा confession जरुरत से ज्यादा लम्बा हो गया. अगर तुमने इसे पढ़ा है तो thanks a lot ! शायद तुम दिल्ली जा रही हो, मैं भी बहुत दूर जा रहा हूँ. औरों कि तरह कभी IIT कि फ़िक्र नहीं की अब नयी शुरुआत करनी है. बहुत परेशान किया है मैंने, हो सके तो माफ़ कर देना. So stay happy. And believe me, this time its really my last letter. I love you.. 

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Whoa ! It feels weird to read this after 12 years! Wonder where she is, wonder where those days have gone when love used to be innocent.. and complicated.

This is for you Didu

My "Didu"

This is about my grandmother. She is 80 years old and has seen the ups and downs of life from a small village near Chittagong, Bangladesh to another small village in the hinterlands of Bihar. Now she lives in Patna with my masi. So today I was at their place talking with her. Suddenly I asked her if she remembered Surya Sen. My masi hearing this, laughed and said grandma even forgets their names sometimes, how could she remember someone who died 70 years back. 

So I asked again. And Grandma says, "Oh yes I do! I remember Master Surya Sen, Kalpana Dutta and all of them!" Shocked I asked if she had seen them, to this she said yes she had actually met them because she was part of a group of girls who sang a welcome song for them when they came at the Congress President's office at Chittagong. She explain how was Surya Sen dressed and how beautiful Kalpana Dutta looked.  Then came the biggest shock; she sang the whole song!

Surya Sen and most of his motely group of revolutionaries died in early 1930s. Now most Indians do not even know what happened in Chittagong on 18th April 1930. Here is one lady who remembers them all even if she doesn't remember the names of her own daughters. This generation will fade away soon, giving way to the Gen Xs and Ys who do not know and just do not care..

Masterda, this small post is for you, and for my grandparents. I worship you and am proud of them, very proud!

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For the uninitiated, you can read about Suryasen here , Kalpana Dutta here and Chittagong revolt here.

Thank you Visitor !

10000 visits

103 posts

The Eternal Rebel thanks you for being here...

May the quest for a better world remain alive ! 

Viva La Revolucion !!!

Utopia- the drama of a massacre

Not so long ago, in a remote corner of this planet, was a Utopia- the perfect society. Everything about the place was almost perfect, the people, the ethical government, the prosperity and the green-ness. It was a new habitat and the people had made all efforts to showcase their place as the epitome of perfection to the outside world, and the effort showed.

But, as with any other place, Utopia too had a small problem. Long before the city was built, there used to be a hamlet of poor outcasts in that place. They continued to live around the area and could be seen living on the pavements of the glittering city.

The sight of these poor amongst all the prosperity of Utopia brought different responses from the Utopians. There were three kinds of people, those who felt pity at the poor and used to feed and cloth them, there were many who were indifferent. And then there were a third class of people for whom the very presence of these god forsaken people was an eye sore. Incidently, this third catagory for people was the most vocal and demands were increasingly being raised to get Utopia rid of the pavement dwellers. They started putting more and more pressure on the government to act.

So what did the 'ethical' government do? Well, nobody actually knows for sure. But one fine morning, the Utopians woke up to find that the poor had simply vanished from the streets. And people were just clueless as to what happened to them. But slowly disturbing information started getting leaked from within the establishment. It was said on the fateful night before, the poor were all herded together, taken to an unknown location and gassed to death; as making arrangements for their rehabilitation was too much of a chore.

This infuriated some people and they started pestering the government to come up with an answer. At first, the government simply chose to ignore the questions; but when the protests became louder, after a prolonged silence, the government came up with an answer. The response was that, to ensure the percieved general well being of the Utopians, the government hired a private agency to 'take care of the poor'. Surprisingly, the government claimed complete ignorance on to how was that 'taking care of' activity carried out by that agency. The President of Utopia said in a public gathering that he would look into the issue. Needless to say, the issue was soon forgotten.

Incidently, much before the Government came up with this answer, the activists started getting veiled threats to fall in line or face the consequences. There were people who were happy to see the 'eye sores' gone and they started accusing the activists of needless rabble rousing. Some of them who were getting undue benifits from the establishment were concerned that any messing up with the establishment will mess up their comforts. The indifferent ones were simply surprised as to why so much importance was being given to such a petty issue.

The unexpected backlash from the Government and fellow Utopians, shocked and silenced the activists. They conceded defeat sensing that it was a lost cause and no matter how much they protested, nothing was going to happen. Slowly, they too got assimiliated in the main stream of Utopia.

So today, Utopia is finally perfect at last, The Establishment is happy and so are the people, Foreign dignitaries are being given a walk through to showcase how a perfect city should be run. The Elite are happy for getting rid of the eye sores. No one actually cares anymore...

... And they say that some unmarked graves outside the boundaries of Utopia have been forgotten too ...

What after the Naxals are all gone ?

This is a question which has been coming in my mind again and again. The Naxals who have turned into Maoists, are being percieved as the biggest threat to India's security.

What will happen after they are finally crushed? So who will speak for the landless and the tribal once we succeed in crushing the Naxals, which I am sure we will do one day. Naxals have been the only way the poor and deprived of India voiced their grievances. Much more than any so called pro-poor party. How will a tribal voice his anger on his jungle being snatched away by land mafia and mountains being razed for mining?

Have we really prepared an alternative? Or will we allow India to be hegemony of Politicians-Businessmen-Police ?

--To be continued... --

Being a Bihari...

Sometime back I was with a school friend, going up to his flat in a happening suburb of Pune. Suddenly out of nowhere, he mused, "Bihari parents are the most unfortunate ones .When we were kids and needed them, they spent their everything trying to make us what we are today Now ,when we have become what we are today and they are the ones who need us in their old age , they are destined to live alone. Because they are caught in the fix between joining their children in the big unknown and sometimes unfriendly cities and the trauma of being uprooted from their homeland, which is the only place they can call- home."

Very recently I have come to realize the full impact of his statement, and the pain behind it; the pain of being a part of the moneyorder economy, where migranting to greener pastures is the only way one can hope to earn money and dignity. This is the penalty we have to pay for letting a Pol Potish regime stay for 15 years whose only aim was to fill its coffers without caring for development, order and prosperity. For 15 years, they sucked our blood shamelessly and we were equally shameless in our impassive tolerance. Hope we realize how dearly we have paid for that blunder.

Two years back, I was appearing for an MBA interview for IMT Gaziabad and the interviewer asked me, "As soon as you said that you are from Bihar, I got a very bad taste in my mouth. Why?"

Why?

That lady got a bad taste in her mouth just because she had a lad from a poor, god forsaken state sitting across the table trying to reason with her? Or was it just plain contempt which a privilaged has for the non-privilaged? I am waiting for the day when the likes of her will be paid in kind, when we rise to such heights that they cannot do anything but stare in awe.

Now when I go back home, I can see that we have a Chief Minster who is trying hard to change things for better. He cannot do it all alone, he needs our unwavering support. Why not give him another mandate so that he can finish the work he started five years back?

This is a message to my brethren back home. Elections are round the corner and the forces which plunged our state into darkness for decades have started rising their heads again. Make sure that you choose for better. Do not let Bihar down by being a mute spectator again.

समर शेष है, नहीं पाप का भागी केवल व्याध
जो तटस्थ हैं समय लिखेगा, उनका भी अपराध !

A Bihari in Pardes and the fable of Trishanku ...

During my recent vacation in Patna, while trying to cope with the dust, traffic and eternal chaos of the city and enjoying being in the only place in the world I can call my home, I recalled the story of Trishanku.

Trishanku was a great king, through his education and medication he so surpassed his fellow human beings that Earth was no longer fit enough a place for him to live. So this great man of ours decided that he need not wait for death to come and take him and instead do some tapasya and go to heaven in his mortal body. And hence our king did a great deal of meditation in all sort of difficult poses and was finally able to please the gods. He was allowed to proceed towards heaven and settle down there.

So one fine day, our king bid adieu to Earth and started ascending towards heaven. While he was still halfway, Heaven was gripped with a fear psychosis. The Devas of heaven started fearing that if this human came there while still being identified by his dirty mortal body, it will be pollute the culture of heaven, and if this was allowed then these immigrants will come and take over heaven from the Deavs. They approached Raj Indra, and appealed to him to not to allow this new outsider migrant in heaven. Indra grabbed this opportunity to score some more brawny points showing him the savior of the Devas' asmita.

Using his powers Indra threw Trishanku outta heaven before he was completely settled. Now poor man couldn't even reach the Earth. He was not welcomed in the Heaven as they would never accept him with this identity of his; and could not even go back to Earth for the fear of being called a failure. Till date Trishanku is hanging between Heaven and Earth with his head towards the Earth and legs towards the Heaven. So tragic was the curse that had befallen him.

So while I was on a hard earned 10 days vacation to my home after nearly one year, I remembered Trishanku. I see him often, working in the IT companies, Textile mills, selling panipuri or working as a construction laborer. I see Trishanku every morning in the mirror when I stand infront of it brushing my teeth....

The Vagabond will start his journey soon :)

Inspired by a former comrade of mine who set on a journey to all the places of India before he joins an MBA course and get stuck in the Muck of Corporate India, I am planning one of my own :)

So I am planning a trip in the search of myself, India and a little bit of solitude. There have been places etched in my memories since childhood, from Amar chitrakatha, teleserials, history books etc which I always wanted to visit, the forts of Rajasthan, the ruins and plateau of Madhya Pradesh and so on. Since I have a Rajput inheritence, Rajasthan has always been like the lost promised land (and I must agree that Gulaal has just aggravated the feeling). Now finally I realized that I cannot wait forever waiting for this journey, have to start it some day. Just want to know if Rajasthan is still the same as I have been seeing it in my thoughts or has changed like the rest of India. This time I want to go alone and without any luxury. Let's see how it happens.

So, anyway here I am, preparing my trip. There have been so many places where I wanted but due to time constraints, will have to leave a few for the next journey. So here are the places where I want to go. See them and feel jealous if you have never been to there :)

1. Bhopal
The city of Nawabs and their almost lost culture. I want to see Bhopal for all the Nawabi charm it presents. Looking forward to some delicious kababs :)

2. Ujjain


The city of Chandragupta Vikramaditya and Bhoja, Ujjain brings an old world charm rivalled only by Varanasi. I want to see the remanents of the Golden Age of India, that of the Gupta Empire. I want to take a dip in the Shipra river which, as I read in 'Ripley's Believe it or Not!' is considered so holy that fishing is prohibited.

3. Indore
The seat of the mighty Holkars and the capital of Saint Queen Ahilyabai, Indore is the remembrance of Yashwantrao Holkar who was the last Maratha to give a tough fight to the British East India Company when everything else had been lost. The places from "The great Maratha" will finally become alive.

4. Maandu

The ruined city of Mandu is called , "A celebration in stone, of life and joy, of the love of the poet-prince Baz Bahadur for his beautiful consort, Rani Roopmati. ..."
:)

5. Udaipur
The city of lakes has been the last refuge of the Sisodiyas against the Mughal onslaught. Well my reason for a visit to Udaipur its beautiful palaces and lakes and the fact that it lies en route to Chittodgarh.

6. Chittodgarh
A visit to Chittodgarh is going to be a piligrimage to the place defended for centuries by my forefathers' blood. The fort of Chittodgarh has been with me since childhood with its legends of Jauhar, Saka and extreme courage. I just want to visit the place and bow my head in gratitude to all those warriors who chose death before dishonor.

7. Ajmer
After the high adernaline trip to Chittod, time to calm down in the company of Khwaza Salim Chishti. Ajmer symbolizes the harmony of different cultures and religions that was India. I want to get a feel of it before it gets extinct for ever.

8. Ranthambhor
I still remember the story of those 36 starving defenders of the Ranthambhore fort who clad in the Saffron bana, opened the gates of the fort and charged on the 1 lakh strong Mughal army to fight till the end with the battle cry of 'Har Har Mahadev!'. That story read in 'Nandan' years ago is the biggest reason I am visiting this place. Another piligrimage...

9. Jaipur
Now what can I say about the pink city! Will update as I see it with my eyes :)


Whoof ! Another long post! Will be updating with how I see India during my journey. Thanks Mampi for setting up the mood with the Abida Parveen songs :)

The Tigers become history .....

I have seen history being made. In past two decades, I have seen a motley group of "boys" graduating from being jungle guerrillas to the most fierce fighting guerrilla force in the world. Today I have witnessed their downfall.

Prabhakaran is dead along with his family, commanders, family and thousands of civilians. Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam is a thing of past now. However ruthless the Tigers have been in their methods of fight, the way they have struggled and fought to the last man standing has been awe inspiring. I wonder whether the world will ever see another fighting force like this ever again. I wonder if the world will ever like to see .

LTTE didn't loose the war in last one year only. The saga of their downfall started being written when a female Black Tiger assassinated Rajiv Gandhi on a similar hot night 18 years ago. Every subsequent political assassination, every bomb blast, every failed negotiation was like just another word on the epitaph of the Eelam movement. The story of Tamil Tigers is a sad story of won bloody wars and lost chances of peace. How I wish that Prabhakaran had valued peace as much as he idolized war. It was not the courage (or the lack of it) of LTTE cadres but the blood lust of the LTTE leadership which is the cause of their ultimate annihilation.

After crushing LTTE, Mahinda Rajapakse is a hero today. He has a chance to become a legend, if he manages to heal the wounds of the Sri Lankan Tamils, restore their bruised dignity and win back their hearts. I hope he does not loose the chance to immortality like Prabhakaran did not once but thrice. And if he does, it will be catastrophic !

It hurts ...

We talked again after eight years . So much water has flown in the Ganga in these years ! I do not know how should I feel - sad? nostalgic? happy? ecstatic? Well, I feel none of these. All I feel is a sudden sense of hollowness inside and the worst thing is that I am not able to place correctly, the reason for feeling like this.

Am I feeling like this because something has happened which I had only dreamt about? Or is it because I do not feel any thing for her anymore? Or simply because so many years have passed and I am noticing the loss only now?

Memories, faded by time, come trickling. I remember those traumatic times of one sided teenage love. I remember the innocence. I remember the only obsession which used to fog my senses twenty four hours a day. I remember those nights when I used to shed silent tears feeling ashamed for my very existence, for being so ugly and useless, for being so unworthy of her. I remember all the effort I used to take just to get a glimpse of her face everyday - the way I would wait after her school or make rounds near her house just to see her - day by day, everyday for four years! I had convinced myself that I would die if I did not see her even for a single day. Today I realize that I lived without seeing her for eight long years!

I have moved on with my own life and my own loved ones. She is just a part of my past meaning nothing to me, or so I convince myself. She has been replaced from my life a long time back, but not from my dreams it seems. She is the only girl who has ever come in my dreams, in that world of my subconscious I still see her the way she used to be in our school days.... and I always loose her by the time the dream ends. I wonder how she looks like now, has she grown fat or still the same? Does she still look like an angel?

I do not know why am I posting this blog, it is too personal. But it hurts! Not like a stabbing- tearing pain but a mild ache which takes long to go away. The First love hurts a lot! Even for a cold hearted person like me, the pain remains ...

I wish I could sleep now ...

सीने में जलन आँखों में तूफ़ान सा क्यूँ है ?

Today was Holi, another one spent in Office, away from family. Papa called to wish Happy Holi and Mummy told me about the items she was making in the kitchen. She even invited me to lunch, only if I could have covered these 2500 KMs. But it seems that it’s the meals in canteen that is left in my destiny instead of the delicacies made by my mother. Life seems to be passing by and I am losing all I used to love in my childhood- my parents, friends, the lanes and by lanes of my hometown…

Today I remember the Holi we used to have with the family members and friends, the excitement which used to start one week in advance. I miss playing with colors till late afternoon and then coming back home to be treated with a delicious festive meal. I miss wearing white Punjabi Kurta Pyjaama in the evening and visiting all the relatives and friends in town to take the blessings of the elders and smear “abeer” on the faces of my cousins and friends.

The friends have all gone in their respective quests for success. The family has scattered too, the bonds don’t seem strong enough nowadays. When ever I go home on my bi-annual visit, parents seem to have grown older than before. They took care of me when as a child, I needed them. Now when they are old I am here in this big city, running in this rat race for money. This Holi makes me feel so hollow. This big city looks so alien…

I remember a few lines from that song of Gaman:

सीने में जलन आँखों में तूफ़ान सा क्यूँ है ?
इस शहर में हर शख्स परेशान सा क्यूँ है ?
दिल है तो, धड़कने का बहाना कोई ढूंढें
पत्थर की तरह बेहिसा-ओ-बेजान सा क्यूँ है ?
तन्हाई की ये कौन सी, मंजिल है रफ़ीकों
ता-हद-ये-नज़र एक बयाबान सा क्यूँ है ?
क्या कोई नयी बात नज़र आती है हम में
आइना हमे, देख के हैरान सा क्यूँ है ?

Is this our biggest humiliation after the defeat of 1962?

Is the attack or rather say, massacre at Mumbai the most humiliating incidence in Indian history after the defeat of 1962 ? I was not born much after the China War but my parents recall how great was the feeling of humiliation in India at that time, a black stain on the conscience which was washed only after the war of 1965. What do we need to do to wash the blood stains this time?


Today as an Indian, I feel humiliated. When I see the charred remains of Taj, the blood at CST, the grief of the people and the atrocious guts of the terrorist, my head hangs in shame at the ineptitude with which we are securing the boundaries of our nation. I feel threatened more than I have been even after all those bomb blasts. Its like a big psychological jolt for me. My confidence in India as a strong nation seemed to have sagged a little.



continued...

This was not just any attack, it has showed the proverbial chinks in our Armour, has shown how vulnerable we and our lives are.

It exposes a big Security scam, from the Coast Guard to the Intelligence to the Police Forces. Just think of it, it was the Mumbai police with a so called trained "ATS". What will happen if this happens in states/ cities where we have just potbellied ordinary 303 rifle wielding policemen. NSG will again take 10 hours to arrive, how many civilians, policemen and buildings will we loose by then? The terrorists have been successful in their first experiment, next time the will come with more dynamite and RDX to blow up whole localities. Will our RAW, IB blah blah "protect" us then in the same manner they have been doing till now?

We need a big shake up in the whole structure. We still are far from being a zero tolerance nation towards Terrorism (in fact, our tolerance seems to be the highest after Iraq). I wonder when will we shake our selves up from this indifferent sleep.

Till all this is done, will our government be "potent" enough to reply back to this National Shame in a "Munich way" ? Will we Indians be able to get our revenge?

What do you feel ?

A tight slap on the face of India, that is Bharat !

In all probabilities, I will be lynched to say this but this is something I must do. Yes, India has been slapped hard on face and we Indians can do nothing except smarting under the insult. When I was looking at the visuals showing the Tajmahal Hotel in flames, this was the exact thought in my mind- "this is the pride of India being gutted." The attack on Mumbai is a taunt to India, that we are helpless. We are paying the price, of being complacent with enemies and acrimonious with our own brethren. They can see through the farce that is Indian security. India is a sitting duck and the "terrorists" have shown yet again that they can hit us anywhere, anytime they wish. We won't retaliate because we are too spineless to do that.

What next ?

The media will create a huge emotional storm making an average Indian choked over the sacrifice of the brave jawans, conveniently letting them forget that this attack on Mumbai is a huge Security scam. What was our intelligence doing,? How did the terrorists reach Mumbai via sea, where were the Coast Guard and the Navy? How did they manage to enter the supposedly high security hotels? Why was ATS and Mumbai Police so ill prepared even during the encounter- that saw Hawaldars crying in terror when fired upon and top officers lost at once? Will the politicians tell us frankly why they are so soft on Terror ?

Coming on politicians, I want to see what the self styled Saviors of Mumbai did to save it. I am waiting for Mr. R. R. Patil to give the "goli ka jawab goli se". The man who was roaring in press and media after Rahul Raj was murdered, must have realized by now what real terrorism is and what real terrorists look like. This time they did not ask to be given a mobile phone to be able to call the Commissioner, they did not come with a "Katta"- they had satellite phones and AK-47s. Hope the Government, Politicians, ATS and people of Mumbai realize now who is their enemy and instead of persecuting fellow Indians, they try to combat terror (provided they can).

This anger has been seeping inside me bit by bit for past few months but now its unbearable., if I don't cry out my heart will burst. Today, I am an angry Indian ! I want revenge ! I want an eye for an eye and do not care if the world goes blind. I may be a "Bimari" for Mumbai (as they say) and will never set foot there in all probabilities, but please , someone stop these terrorists from entering our Mumbai! Time is running out...

Waiting for Khudiram - 100 years

"One & half years from now

I shall be born in the aunt's hut
if you tend to forget me then
O mother!
Look at my neck
for the hangman's halter."
(Ek baar bidaai deo maa, ghure aashhi...)



100 years ago on 11th August, 1908, a young boy of 19 years of age went to the gallows with the battle cry of "Vande Maataram!" on his lips. He was Khudiram Bose, the first and the youngest martyr of Indian Revolutionary Freedom Movement.

Don't you think that Khudiram deserves to be remembered on his martyrdom day? At least that much?

100 years have passed, you didnot keep your promise to come back, O Khudiram ! Look what have they done to the country you gave your life for! Kingsford still lives and he now wears Khadi instead of Suits. The Gora Sahebs have been replaced by the Brown Sahebs who desire nothing more than to keep their thrones intact, while the nation goes to dogs. The parasites are sucking the blood of "Shasya Shyamala" Bharatmata and the all powerful public is silent. No one cares, all are just mute spectators. When will you come back? When will you hurl the first bomb again?

We are waiting for you, our Khudiram...

Ruled by Scoundrels !

"Those who criticize politics as the last resort of a scoundrels are condemned to be ruled by scoundrels"

- Plato

It is really surprising to see how a statement as the above one made some 2000 years ago can so accurately describe the state of affairs of a country like India in 2008.

Consider this; 40% of MLAs in Uttar Pradesh are in Jail. Most of them booked under heinous crimes like loot, murder, kidnapping etc. And the rest of the nation does not present a very rosy picture either. Mob violence in Maharashtra, Rajasthan and West Bengal, water wars between Tamil Nadu and Karnataka, Infiltration problems in North East.. all these issues along with the rampant corruption and misuse of Power and public money point out to an inefficient and dishonest leadership.

The majority of Indians are young men and women now. Then why should they be ruled by power hungry and corrupt old Netas whose only interest lies in clinging to their "Throne"? Why is India opting for an 85 year old CM whose idea of welfare is distribution of color TVs when the state is reeling under funds crisis; or another moron whose sole aim in life is to have more and more statues and parks build in her name? More than half of the nation consists of working class, then why are they allowing the Politicians to squander the hard earned public money in "Tughlaqi projects" which have the capacity to astonish even Tughlaq himself? Why is a resurgent India letting an inefficient leadership curtail its might ?

The answer lies in the attitude of a general Indian. Like me, he too wishes for a change, BUT, he doesn't want to be the carrier of change himself. In other words, he wants Bhagat Singh to be born again and bring revolution, but in the neighbor's home, not his. He, the usually argumentative Indian, becomes totally silent when it comes to join the fight against this corrupt system. And it is the silence of a common Indian which allows a mob of thousands to control a population of millions. Simply because we fail to react, and we never protest if something is wrong.


So where is the solution for this ordeal? Are we going to allow these scoundrels rule us forever? Or are we going to do something ?

बुद्ध का अट्टहास

गाँधी के भाषण बहुत सुने,
अब बुद्ध का अट्टहास सुनो !
बहुत हुई पंचशील की चालें,
अब गौरव की बात करो !
देखो इतिहास दिखा रहा है,
अपनी बातें उनकी घातें !
हैं संगीनों के साए तले,
क्या गीत प्रेम के गाए जाते ?
भारतभूमि धधक रही है,
गूँज रहा है आर्तनाद!
हे मृत्युंजय अब तो जागो,
दूर करो सारा विषाद!
तुम तो भाग्य विधाता हो,
दिखला दो उनकी औकात !
हुणों को भी धुल चटाओ तुम,
इन मलेच्छों की क्या बिसात?
भारत वर्ष अखंड रहेगा,
बोलो डंके की चोट पे !
शांति अगर लानी है तो,
लाओ बंदूक की नोक पे !
सोये हो तुम हजार साल,
अब निद्रा का त्याग करो !
भारत माँ पुकार रही है,
अब सर्वस्व बलिदान करो !
यह आह्वाहन है समय का,
यह युद्ध की ललकार है !
पूरे हुए प्रतीक्षा के पल,
क्रांति दिवस आज है !


This poem was written by me after the Pokharan Nuclear tests. This is a call to the Indian to rise and start the struggle, with violence as the weapon this time. Non- Violence is relevant when the adversary is a human. When you are fighting then you have to be the Evil with Evil. The poem draws its inspiration from Jayshankar Prasad's "तुम हमारी चोटियों की बर्फ को यूँ मत कुरेदो " written after the war of 1962. The phrase "बुद्ध का अट्टहास " may make you remember that news of the blasts was conveyed as, "Buddha has smiled !"

जनयुद्ध का आह्वाहन

सुनो भारत के मजदूरों,

यह जन विद्रोह का नारा है !
कब तक ये अत्याचार सहे ?
सत्ता का तिरस्कार सहे ?
अब उठो कि वक़्त हमारा है,
सम्पत्ति का मालिक सर्वहारा है!
जन क्रांति की मशाल जले,
जनता का हर मलाल जले!
जो जोते जमीन उसी की हो,
अपना भाग्य विधाता मजदुर ही हो!
अबके होली क्रांति से मने ,
रक्त रंग बारूद गुलाल बने!
जनयुद्ध की यही आवाज़ है,
बंदूक ही हमारी मित्र आज है !

Declaration of the War!

You are absolutely free to call me an insane fanatic. But I at least, have the guts to say that sane people do not make history. They take birth anonymous, attend school and college if they are lucky enough, get a job if they are luckier enough, marry, produce children, retire and then just fade away. Very few know them when they are alive and hardly anyone bothers to remember them when they are no more. I do not seek a life and death like theirs. And thats why I declare my rebellion against the existing system!

Today I declare! I am my destiny. I know my fate. I am one of those who write history. And history is written not by ordinary pen and ink but by blood and iron. So feel free to frolic in your sane world, I am happy with my insanity. I know what am I living for; and what will I die for !

Goodbye Monu

Hello Monu,
If I would have said this to you earlier, you would never have understood. Now when you have gone so far from all of us, I want you to know this. Hope, in your new world of enlightenment you will understand what your Dada wants to tell you.
We have seen you struggling with life since you were a small child. We saw you surviving your heart surgery when you were just 6 months old. Then there so many complications, those fits and blood transfusions! No one had thought that your fragile body will be able to stand all that. But you did. In spite of all the limitations, you managed to survive, you were so stubborn in front of death. The determination of your parents to keep you alive and your own fighting spirit was really something found very rare.
You have been an integral part of our lives through these 18 years. I always used to feel that you suffered a lot. I used to wonder what maybe going on inside your mind when we used to speak all those endearments to you. May be if we meet someday there up above, you will be able to tell me then. God was quite unfair with you and your parents. You can now make him stand trial and ask him why, now when you are finally with him. You or your family did not deserve so much trauma. But now all the suffering is gone. I wish you the very best in the onward journey.
So good bye Monu. Know it that your family loves you a lot. We will remember you forever. And yes, I will take care of your parents. Don't ever worry.

- Your Brother whom you never called "Dada"

Evil !

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. I believe that what the rich have done to the poor people in this city is something that a preacher could call evil. Somebody has power. Pretending that they don't so they don't need to use it to help people -- that is my idea of evil. Without followers, evil cannot spread. The evil that men do lives on and on...

Evil unchecked grows, evil tolerated poisons the whole system. The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it. He who does not punish evil, commands it to be done. But, he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.